Supporting a Grieving Colleague: A Conversation Guide for Managers

When a colleague is grieving, a manager can offer practical clarity while letting the person choose how much to share. Use these prompts to begin a private, manageable conversation.

Start privately

“I am sorry you are going through this. What would be helpful for me to know about work right now? You do not need to share personal details.”

Ask about communication

“What, if anything, would you like the team to know? Who would you like to tell them?” Agree on a message before sharing information.

Make the next week concrete

Review urgent work together. Identify what can pause, who can cover, and which meetings are optional. Explain available leave and support using your organization’s current policies; involve HR for eligibility and legal questions.

Agree on a small check-in

“Would a ten-minute check-in next week be useful?” Agree on the date, channel, and whether the person would prefer to initiate. Needs may change after returning to work.

Avoid assumptions

Do not demand a timeline for feeling better, diagnose their grief, or interpret a quiet day as lack of commitment. Ask what is workable and document agreed work arrangements with appropriate privacy.

Leave with a practical agreement

Work to pause or reassign:
Communication preference:
Next check-in:

Keep the agreement specific enough that neither person has to guess what happens next.

Continue learning

Read Leadership and Grief for the broader conversation, or explore our free grief resources.

For a conversation about grief education for your team, contact Caleb at The Outer Circle, serving Orange County, Los Angeles County, and online.

This is a communication resource, not legal advice or clinical care. Follow applicable policies and consult HR.